That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
