We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is the high leading the old right now
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
