it was like eating out sand paper
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
