I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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