fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
