Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
