i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
