I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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