I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
