let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
