So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
