Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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