I'm lost and stupid without you.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
