Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
