don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
