if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
