if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
