Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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