So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
