Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
