you win again, gameday.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
