I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
