I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
