The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
