I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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