What a fucking waste of an outfit
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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