I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
