i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
