Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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