So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
