it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
