She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
