I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
