You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
