so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
