Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
