She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
