eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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