I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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