i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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