Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
