Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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