i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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