this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
