He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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