i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
