I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
