Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
