with your own penis?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
