TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
